Let me find you a longer fall

Let me me find you a longer fall,
one that will break your infatuation with the stars and the soil.
I know your reasons to live are scattered in the glittering grass
because I saw you looking down for which ones might still grow and which had already been eaten.
Know that I will repopulate your sky with
New, more corporate constellations
Let me find you a longer fall
Than the one that starts every day with your waking breath
Graciously allowing you a new chance to re-earn 

your own body over the course of the descent

until your bones smash on the rocks at nightfall again.
Let me find you a longer fall
than the parking lot
than the bedroom floor

from the very best of your highs.
A longer fall than the shame of your broken trust,
than my stone down your cliffside
than skin turned against itself again.
Let me find you

No moment

I am skin on scrap metal and thinking about being something sheer over something sharp.

I become suddenly willing to rip myself apart for freedom one more time. One more time, different than the other times, the last time.

I am in deep love with the moment there is nothing left to be afraid of- bold and stupid.

I am at the mercy of a million feelings that defy each other, I am their will to fight. I am the insatiable agnosticism that keeps going.

On a thunderstorm during a new moon I remembered how I find things that are full of life to be beautiful because it's the only survival mechanism I won't live to regret.